RISK EVERYTHING FEAR NOTHING

What am I gonna do - what about the future? Gotta draw the line...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 18:06:00 +0800

What am I gonna do - what about the future?
Gotta draw the line without delay
Why shouldn’t I get emotional - the bush is sacred
Ancient life will fade away

Over the hill they go, killing another mountain
Gotta fill the quota - can’t go slow
Huge machinery wiping out the scenery
One big swipe like a shearer’s blow

Remember the axemen knew their timber
Cared about the way they brought it down
Crosscut, blackbutt, tallowood and cedar
Build another bungalow - pioneer town

I am the bush and I am koala
We are one - go hand in hand
I am the bush like Banjo and Henry
It’s in my blood - gonna make a stand

Rip rip woodchip - turn it into paper
Throw it in the bin, no news today
Nightmare, dreaming - can’t you hear the screaming?
Chainsaw, eyesore - more decay
Throw it in the bin - don’t understand
Stirs my blood - gonna make a stand

Each word as sacred as the land he sings of, John Williamson makes me proud to be Australian.

There are three types of machines.Machines that kill...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 17:56:00 +0800

There are three types of machines.
Machines that kill people.
Machines that bring life back.
And machines that use machines.

In a perfect world we could live together with freedom,
in harmony with each other,
ourselves,
and the air we breathe.

“Bullets don’t pick the victim, it’s the shooter that picks them.”

Stop the machines. Before they stop us.

I spontaneously fall into momentary love with strangers,...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 14:20:07 +0800

I spontaneously fall into momentary love with strangers, friends, ideas, places on a daily basis,

it’s the worst part of my personality.

A strong current I Iost my way in;you dragged me under...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 00:45:47 +0800

A strong current I Iost my way in;
you dragged me under water,
turned my world upside down
and dumped me on the shore,
only to come back
and pull me out again,
and again.
Expanding and contracting
like lungs,
the universe breathes
in
and out
on the shores of this land.

Dear reader,

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 14:48:02 +0800

How are you this morning/afternoon/evening?
Really, how are you?
I’m asked this question daily, and I ask these words each day, so often receiving the same over used, under felt, meaningless reply “I’m good thank you” or “I’m fine” when it’s obvious the truth couldn’t be further from the lie. FINE in a different sense perhaps - a little fucked off, insecure perhaps, most likely neurotic and definitely emotional.
I don’t want lies and I don’t want meaningless exchanges. I long for raw and real junctures turning strangers to friends, not the other way round.

It’s midnight here in Perth, Western Australia. This isolated city, kept company by the currents of the Indian ocean, breaths of the sea blowing through the pollution of mankind and meeting me here - it feels more like a large country town, although it’s growing fast, so am I.
I’m leaving in three weeks, and it feels as though I’m saying my final goodbyes to this sleepy city - to my childhood, and the person I once was - and I feel a deep sense of nostalgia from within.

I’ve slowly been composing the pieces of my past together to write a book - a long journey that I’m taking my first footsteps forward for - diving deep into the mindset I once existed in; the spiritual standstill I swayed stationary in for too long.
Journeying back through the past, with pages of paper; written words breathing ghosts back to life with each sentence I read.

Rewinding to a time I would rather fast forward through, tape over, erase altogether and pretend never happened - taking a grown man to court at fifteen for crimes he committed against not just me, but many. I’ve been reliving my 16th and 20th birthdays in hospital rooms, unable to talk, unable to think, unable to feel… anything… at all.
I relive the night my best friend told me the words that still hit me like a ton of bricks - she slept with my first love, she’s pregnant with his child.
The darkness that once consumed my world teases me with it’s tongue as I toss and turn with memories of words hitting me as hard as the rocks they threw, out of sight from the watchful eye.
Memories of bashing my emotion out through two sticks resounding through the drums I hit for years that kept me sane - a release I long for once more.
The adrenaline rushes through my veins as I remember jumping out of that plane and deciding I would approach all my problems from that angle, above it all, able to see clearly, no matter what clouds jade my view.
Scraping back the dirt embedded beneath my eyelids to discover the truths of the mental institutions I’ve done time at twice in my life. The semi intoxicating trance I once existed in, barely breathing at all.
It’s all the words, all the pieces coming together before me; stories weaving themselves into something I’ve known was apart of a plan bigger than myself since… as long as I can remember, before the picture broke into a thousand pieces, cutting me in two and reminding me what I’m made of.

But, like all things in life, there is good with the bad - this journey through time takes me back to the Andes mountains range - crisp cool clouds surrounding me, looking down valleys and across at mountains, knowing then, as I do now that the physical journey I’ve begun is nothing compared to the mental and spiritual milestones I’ve passed.
I find myself in the waters of islands in the Philippines, lying on my back on the green grass slopes of Austria looking at the skies above, the very same light reaching down from the heavens and shining through me, no matter where I am in these physical and spiritual worlds.

People who don’t know me ask “what could a 22 year old white girl possibly write about that will intrigue another?” and I bite my tongue as my head grows a little weary and my heart gets a little heavy, I turn the other cheek and make a conscious decision to keep on going. Pull through. Do it. I’m going to write the best book I possibly can, not in spite of all those who doubt me and say I can’t, but for me, for the friends that have become family and the family that have become friends - the handful of people whose faith in me has given me wings to fly and soar out beyond the mess my life once was.

And I want to thank YOU, dear reader, for soaking in these very words dripping from my soul, out through my fingers for you to collect here, on this very morning/afternoon/evening, just as they were meant to.
I want you to know, from one friend/stranger (strangers are just friends we haven’t met yet?) to another, that someone out there, in this communion of 7 billion souls gives a damn about you - whoever you are, wherever you are, however you are.

I hope the world hasn’t burdened your shoulders on this day/night, and if it has, I hope you know there are better days coming - like everything real and raw in this world, like everything natural, we need both rain and sunshine to learn lessons and grow, so we can continue flowing with the currents life sends our way.
Dear reader, dear friend, dear stranger I’m yet to meet, there’s a girl alone on this night in the midst of Australia who believes in you. So don’t stop believing in yourself.

All my love, life and light,
Love,
someone at the other end.

I believe I can leavemore beauty on this shorethan my poreswill...

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 14:20:04 +0800

I believe I can leave
more beauty on this shore
than my pores
will allow my body
to receive
breathe -
don’t let the world deceive
make you naive
thieve your heaves
and stop the waves and weaves that lead
to the place where my ink and lead
write everything left unsaid
shed the lies
as we tread softly
and keep our eyes focused on ahead
instead of behind,
to the history
that repeats the deplete of man
and defeats any lessons
and devils we should excrete
Greet me with love
I can leave on this shore
as I walk on the otherside
and soar a little more.

Hey Jessica, I just came across your blog and im hooked! You truly are an inspirational writer. I was wondering if you could describe the feeling you experience when you travel? For me I feel as if I can breathe again. I feel as if all this time my lungs weren't working properly and now I can breathe. It's hard to explain but it's one hell of a feeling. So I wanted to know how you would describe the feeling you get.

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 11:14:50 +0800

Its a shower of everything pure and sacred and real in this world washing over me; cleansing away my prejudice, soaking out the dirt embedded in my pours, pumping the fog out from my brain, ingesting clean air as I begin to see the world as it really is - the good and the bad.
Its the harsh and menacing realities I bear witness to as I see poverty and inequality around me. I feel helpless and selfish as I catch the eyes of each soul walking past me, wanting desperately to help each and every one - give them the back the basic rights I was born into, the very same ones people are dying for this hour, minute, second… while I sit in a small room in this big house writing these words.
I’m overwhelmed as I realize how small I am in this big world; like I’ve injected a dose of freedom into my veins - knowing I can go anywhere, do anything, and meet anyone; not knowing where my next turn will take me, but knowing with every fiber of my being that whoever enters my life does so in the right place, at the right time, for a reason bigger than anything I can ever comprehend.
Days start out like any other, and end as night takes away the light, and I live within that like any.
It’s the small moments of realization washing over me, hitting me like a ton of bricks that I live for. The rare second I have of deja vu, feeling like every sip of coffee I have ever ingested hits me all at once and the world is suddenly more real and vivid and beautiful than ever before.

"Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light; I have loved the stars too fondly..."

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 22:48:00 +0800

“Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.”

Flame from fume

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 14:50:51 +0800

In the dark, alone at night, all that remains is you
In the abyss of terror and bliss, remember to always stay true,
beneath your disguise of make up and lies,
your soul is cries to the skies
Always remember, when the fire turns to ember, to not give in or subdue

CHORUS:
The flames gone, I watched it burn
With a fling and a flicker, twist and turn
The flames gone, I watched it fade
Wither and melt in the heat it was made

But you know sometimes I lose the day
Fight against the currents life sends my way
And you know, sometimes I lose my flow
Just let it go, there’s more than we will ever know

CHORUS

RAP:
A light inside, combusted
Ignited by those most trusted
My soul is on fire,
With it I perspire
Aspire to inspire before I expire

Rain is all the pain our bodies cannot drain
Falling down upon us to remind us we’re alive
All the tears our soul cannot cry
Dripping into our world, so that we can (revive/survive/thrive - not sure which)

CHORUS

Beat your drum,
dance your boom
Flame from fume
Our essence blooms

A work in progress - this is the first song I’ve attempted to write.
14 June 2013 Perth

Number 18 off the bucket list: Swim in Antarctica November 2012

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 08:32:58 +0800

Number 18 off the bucket list: Swim in Antarctica
November 2012

The irony of our generation is the enhancement of technology, yet the breakdown of communication.

Sun, 09 Jun 2013 00:20:26 +0800

The irony of our generation is the enhancement of technology,
yet the breakdown of communication.

My humble opinion on TRIPLE J’s hottest 20 the last 20...

Sat, 08 Jun 2013 23:36:00 +0800

My humble opinion on TRIPLE J’s hottest 20 the last 20 years:

1. Soul To Squeeze - RHCP
2. Wet Sand - RHCP
3. Wayside - Birds Of Tokyo
4. Sober - Tool
5. Disarm - Smashing Pumpkins
6. The Drugs Don’t Work - The Verve
7. Wonderwall - Oasis
8. Where Did You Sleep Last Night - Nirvana
9. Chemical Heart - Grinspoon
10. Seaside - The Kooks
11. My Happiness - Powderfinger
12. Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley
13. Army Of Me - Bjork
14. Tool - Schism
15. Lake Of Fire - Nirvana
16. Californication - RHCP
17. Zzyzx Rd - Stone Sour
18. Yellow - Coldplay
19. Mace Spray - Jezabels
20. The Pretender - Foo Fighters

We’ve created a generation of shells;all under a...

Sat, 08 Jun 2013 15:44:00 +0800

We’ve created a generation of shells;
all under a spell,
entirely about the outside,
the crowds lies;
improvise -
oh, please realize,
the price you pay
is not always where you think it lies.

Welcome to Perth.

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 00:54:20 +0800

Welcome to Perth.

Photo

Mon, 03 Jun 2013 16:19:23 +0800

A man who lives fully, is prepared to die at any time.- Mark...

Sun, 02 Jun 2013 11:30:08 +0800

A man who lives fully, is prepared to die at any time.
- Mark Twain

A piece of a passed chapter, I still cannot capturePages have turnedmemories been burnedthis war we...

Sat, 01 Jun 2013 22:04:32 +0800

A piece of a passed chapter,
I still cannot capture
Pages have turned
memories been burned
this war we wage
keeps me locked in a cage of rage;
And sure, it’s just a stage,
but the pollution in my head
over all that’s left unsaid
is fast forming a fog
embedded beneath my eyelids
the solution is to rid
all memory of you
in this place
so I do not trace
your face into new new diaries,
your expiry was long ago,
yet still you do not go,
that’s right -
I’m the one who always leaves
and again I will today
to come back one day
and find you here
still
living life by the window sill.

It feels like I’ve been stabbed in the heart, blade puncturing through my lungs, prohibiting...

Fri, 31 May 2013 11:30:00 +0800

It feels like I’ve been stabbed in the heart, blade puncturing through my lungs, prohibiting me from breathing. Like I’ve had the wind knocked out of me, again and again, until the semi-intoxicating trance I once existed in barely breathing sets in between the neurons and synapses in my brain once more. It feels there’s a dark fog forming underneath my eyelids and I can’t see what I’m meant to see, I can’t do what I’m meant to do, and I can’t feel what I’m meant to feel.
It feels like I’m alive, but slowly dying.
My heads a little heavy and my hearts a little hard, but I’m alive, and I’m breathing I know, because I can feel something.
And feeling something is better than feeling nothing.

Photo

Thu, 30 May 2013 13:44:00 +0800

The flames gone I watched it burn With a fling and flicker,...

Sun, 26 May 2013 20:44:00 +0800

The flames gone
I watched it burn
With a fling and flicker, twist and turn
The flames gone I watched it fade
Wither and melt, in the heat it was made
The flames faded
My minds jaded
The righteous and wicked,
Why do you inflict it?