RISK EVERYTHING FEAR NOTHING


Dear someone watching from the shadows,
The policy is honesty and nothing is censored. The world is not made of atoms. It is made of stories.
These are some of mine.
I was born in China, grew up in a small country town, spent my next decade in the most isolated city in the world. I am now 3000 miles away, embarking on my next chapter. The air smells verdant and pure, I am surrounded by nature in bloom, and beautiful people who hold such exquisite stories.
I want to go everywhere, meet everyone, and do everything. I will.
Love, someone at the other end.


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11th December 2010

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Favourite internet friend

There is a boy that lives on the other side of the world, and every day we write to one another baring our soul in some form of writing.
Details on each other is something we deny, we simply share what we believe is in our hearts and minds,
or who’s been in who’s bed.
He writes me poems, and I write back, always speaking of a love we dream of, so different than the rest. I never realised it, until now, but he knows more about me than any other person does, unknowingly, I’ve finally let someone in.

Dear Nate, 

How do you always know the right things to say?

Looking back, I can hardly remember how this started.
I was looking for a pen pal. Someone I could write to and express myself to. Someone who’s story I could learn, and someone who I could tell everything to; someone I could turn to on days it’s hard to see the sun shine.

You let me do my thing, with no questions asked. You allow me to disappear for days on end, when I need my space to get my head around things, and the only question you ask when I come back is if I’m okay, or if I want to talk about it.
You know more about my life than people I see every day. Maybe not in so much detail, but you know a lot more about what goes on inside my head.

 “I don’t have anything special about me. I’m just like everyone else.
Sooner or later in the future, I will let you down.
I would never ever want to let you down. But I’m not perfect and I know at some point, I will.
And I’m so scared of even just telling you this because I don’t want you to be hurt and I don’t want you to just write me off as one of your lessons.
I’m not amazing. But I’m here. And I’m not giving up on you.
Because if anything, you were the one who truly showed me, to not ever give up. Not on anyone, not on anything.
You may say it’s because I don’t know what’s going on, or that I don’t know you well enough.
It doesn’t make a difference to me.
I’m not giving up on you.
Try me.”

Thank you for every email, for every word you’ve written to get me through the rainy days. Thank you for being you,
thank you for not giving up on me.
Even though you’ll disagree with me, I can’t miss this opportunity to let you know I think you’re amazing.
The impact you’ve had on my life the past two months is overwhelming at times – the way you believe in me, and never cease to tell me the cold hard truth.

Never change, never give up on yourself, and keep smiling at strangers.

Love always,
Jessica

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