7:13pm Saturday 21st January, 2012

6th February 2012

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7:13pm Saturday 21st January, 2012

I found my smile again at the place that once felt like home
found my heart where I left a piece of it, a long time ago
here I was again,
same place
different person
surrounded by love from those that still hold that piece of my heart
kept safe in the palm of their hands
squeezing the life back into me.
I look to my right
there she is
older
wiser
more beautiful
a smile radiating from her
bigger and brighter than I remember
I look to my left
there they are
happy
drunk
toothless
and in some strange way
family to each other
that chapter of my life I look back on and smile
back when the days didn’t tie themselves together
and blend into one big mound of days and weeks and months.
yet the clock keeps ticking on
in some strange way
I can feel it slipping through me
it’s nearly closing time
I’m collecting silver
from the floor
fallen and forgotten
placing them in her jar
the jar that was once mine
my minds still going round in circles
gradually slowing down from the chaos that I let exist just one hour ago
I’m thinking of you
and her
and him
and them.
that’s when I see it
the whirlwind of thoughts abruptly disappearing
an inch from my feet
glistening and glowing against the dirty pub floor
the black and white, the darkness and light,
the moon and sun, fire and water,
male and female, heaven and earth,
you and I
opposite,
but unable to exist without the other
complementary,
not opposing.
And amongst all the darkness I let consume me,
I remember the light shining from within me
the same one that lead me here
on a night like this
to remind me who I really am.