I am. Thank you, anon.
Thank you Mia. You have a friend in Australia.
I would love to travel the Croatian coastline! I’ve heard it’s absolutely beautiful.
This world is broken, but beautiful. It gets shivery and somber, we find ourselves cramped and crooked, and unable to know which path to walk down and which one to leave. But sometimes, these forgotten fog-rimmed feelings are the most important, you know? It may all feel too real and raw and hard to deal with… but life is what we make it, whichever perspective we choose to see through, and really, it’s all we’ve got.
And yeah, I know being happy is hard. It’s temperamental. It’s exhausting. But you have to do things that scare the hell out of you sometimes. Have to kiss people that might not kiss you back. Have to get your hands a little dirty. Have to build things only to tear them down - only to burn them down and start all over. Think about what it means to change, what it means to start over, what it means to live. What it means to feel your knees buckling beneath the weight of all these beautiful things. Because it’s okay to be lonely. As long as you know that you’re not alone. And let me tell you, from one stranger to another, you are not alone.
I found my smile again at the place that once felt like home
found my heart where I left a piece of it, a long time ago
here I was again,
surrounded by love from those that still hold that piece of my heart
kept safe in the palm of their hands
squeezing the life back into me.
I look to my right
there she is
a smile radiating from her
bigger and brighter than I remember
I look to my left
there they are
and in some strange way
family to each other
that chapter of my life I look back on and smile
back when the days didn’t tie themselves together
and blend into one big mound of days and weeks and months.
yet the clock keeps ticking on
in some strange way
I can feel it slipping through me
it’s nearly closing time
I’m collecting silver
from the floor
fallen and forgotten
placing them in her jar
the jar that was once mine
my minds still going round in circles
gradually slowing down from the chaos that I let exist just one hour ago
I’m thinking of you
that’s when I see it
the whirlwind of thoughts abruptly disappearing
an inch from my feet
glistening and glowing against the dirty pub floor
the black and white, the darkness and light,
the moon and sun, fire and water,
male and female, heaven and earth,
you and I
but unable to exist without the other
And amongst all the darkness I let consume me,
I remember the light shining from within me
the same one that lead me here
on a night like this
to remind me who I really am.
I sit here every day and shed my heart to the world. Let my soul bleed.
You may not physically know me, but you know a hell of a lot more than most people I know.
It’s the only way I know how… Every now and then, when life throws a shitty time at you, it’s the only way I know how to deal. I can’t talk to people, they fuck up too often. Paper will always keep my secrets.
That fear thing?
“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that things are difficult.”
Thank you for your kind words. I understand you could have read this, then navigated off this page. Yet strangely, you’ve turned my morning around, and it’s only 7am.