October 2010
51 posts
I am young, though, you can’t forget that when you think about me and us and what I’ve said and done, and how I’ve fucked it all up, how I’ve sunken my claws into you and closed my eyes and covered my ears and waited to be shaken off, ignoring you, ignoring everything, I don’t want to know, don’t tell me, don’t show me these things.
Who said I wanted to be part of this haunted adult world that you are trapped in? Did I say that? Did I imply that when we pushed things too far and I gave away everything? Did I imply that when I gulped down alcohol, poison, and smoked those things, and did those things? Because I’d like to take that back, I’d like to be nothing again, something light and pure and something young.
I am young, you can’t forget that, and so what, I’ve fucked it all up, haven’t I? I’ll probably do it again, but don’t bring me into your world, I am young, I am just testing limits, isn’t that what they call it? Sorry, sorry I’ve fucked it all up, sorry I saw those things and did those things, none of that can be taken back, but I’d like to not be part of this world anymore, where everything is real, because you have to remember that I am young, and it’s not supposed to be real yet.
“In life, people tend to wait for good thing to come to them. And by waiting, they miss out. Usually, what you wish for doesn’t fall into your lap; it falls somewhere nearby, and you have to recognize it, stand up, and put in the time and work it takes to get it. This isn’t because the universe is cruel. It is because the universe is smart. It has its own cat-string theory and knows we don’t appreciate things that fall into our laps.”
—
The person you used to be.
Drifting in and out of consciousness, my mind is taking over.
I’m remembering the person you used to be,
The best days
The way your smile had truth behind it, and your voice changed when you whispered those three words.
My mind blacks out, just as the sky darkened,
ending those days
A new morning comes,
Different times, different memories
I’m conscious again
I’m here, though I’m not
you’re speaking such pretty words
but in moments of sanity, I know
every sugar coated word escaping those faultless lips is a contradiction, a struggle,
a lie of who you were.
Everything you said made sense
Within the fissures and neurons of my head, there was something missing
I was doing a jigsaw but I couldn’t distinguish the bigger picture
You handed me the missing pieces, allowing me to see with clarity
But your answers were fake, and now all I’m left with is misrepresentation and deception.
That picture is trapped in my head, truth and fiction interchangeable
Things just happened for no reason, and nothing made any sense.
so tell me, why is there still something missing?
Breathe dirt, sip your poison, talk trash, slam doors, spit on the pavement, fuck every person that’s willing, drive recklessly, skip work, inject your veins, lose your manners, punch walls, harm everyone around you, don’t shower, forget to sleep, cut your skin, starve yourself, snort whatever you can get your hands on, laugh in people’s faces, believe the lies, bleach your hair, rot your teeth, get naked, deprive yourself.
But don’t touch me ever again.
So close, no matter how far <br>Couldn't be much more from the heart <br>Forever trusting who we are,<br> and nothing else matters.<br><br>Never opened myself this way <br>Life is ours, we live it our way <br>All these words I don't just say,<br> and nothing else matters. <br><br>Trust I seek, and I find in you <br>Every day for us something new <br>Open mind for a different view, <br>and nothing else matters.<br><br>Never cared for what they say<br>Never cared for games they play<br>Never cared for what they do<br>Never cared for what they know<br>And I know... <br><br><br><br>So, I'm working at their concert this weekend. Haven't been this exicted for work in a very long time.
Metallica - Nothing Else Matters
So close, no matter how far
Couldn’t be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are, and nothing else matters
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way.
All these words I don’t just say, and nothing else matters
Trust I seek, and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view, and nothing else matters
Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know
“One door closes. Two doors open. Open your eyes, you can’t see if you keep them closed.”
—
You said once, when I was young, that I was like a wild horse, and that they are the most loyal when broken. How did that work out for you? See, that’s where you differ from him. He didn’t have to break me in order to earn my loyalty, he just had to love me. And he has accomplished that in a fraction of the time that I ever wasted on you.
